i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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