nutella sex= disaster
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
