From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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