At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize