bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
