chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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