idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
