thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
