I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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