What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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