Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
the day after is always just damage control
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
