I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
