On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
