I'm so fucking centered right now
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
