i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize