I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
