I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize