her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
