It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
God, I missed his penis.
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