why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
