Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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