That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
