I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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