butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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