Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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