I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
