a queef is a wish your heart makes.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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