i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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