yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
