Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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