I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
