Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
