Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
