That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
