That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
