ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
