nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
bring money and cleavage
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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