Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
