Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
