mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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