I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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