I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
