i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
