her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I just googled if crying burns calories
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize