SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
