Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
