Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
