I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
