NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
