My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
