i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
