Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
