fuck your aforementioned shoe
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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