It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
