she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
