I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
