you mean i was at the winter classic?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
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