Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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